My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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