Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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