Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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