yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
