dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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