Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
