I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
