Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
