I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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