Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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