We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize
