whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
i think i just lost a toe
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
