And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Can I color on your dick again?
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Randomize
