she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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