so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
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all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
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I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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