Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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