well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
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I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
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Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
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