so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
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i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
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He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I pour the whiskey from now on
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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