Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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