Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize