oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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