It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
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