And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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