I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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