so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
