i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
