i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
