she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
