She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize