Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
