so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Randomize
