let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
