The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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