OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
