Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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