I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
sarcasm needs its own font
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
