After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
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