We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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