if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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