don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Two words: blizzard sex
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
