why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
