I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
