What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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