he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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