My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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