i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
He shit in the fireplace
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