I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
