I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Shame is for Republicans.
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