She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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