Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Randomize