Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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