Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
