Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
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I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
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It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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