I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
