it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Found the puke drawer
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
