Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
