Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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