i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
