so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize