Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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