The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
