thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
