Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
