She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
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