you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Help me help you realize you are a moron
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
where are my eyebrows?
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
