my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Randomize
