Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
