she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
