i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize