The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Randomize
