I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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