So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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